Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Day 4 – No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?

Where is the sign that say “No shirt, No Shoes, No Service” when you need it? Today’s story is about a notorious bare foot female passenger who doesn't realize that having her shoes off while riding the train is in violation of every passenger ethical codes of conduct in the book. Before I dive into the story, I must take a moment to address my female readers. You are probably thinking this woman just had a long day at work and she just simply kicked off her 3 inch high heels to give her feet some relief. Well, if that was the case then I would be more understanding and there wouldn't be a need for today’s blog entry. But NOPE…this is not the case. This woman is a repeat offender; a habitual barefoot rider. Check out her M.O. She always seeks out the first car of the train car and sits in the last couple of seats. Before the train can leave its current station, this lady has already taken off her SNEAKERS (not shoes or boots) and SOCKS, and has sat Indian style in the seats. Now the funny thing is that she usually tries to do it quickly enough so that people would be hesitant to sit next to her. But today wasn't her lucky day. It was a rather crowded train and another lady asked if she could sit beside her.

This is where it gets funny. The barefoot rider (from henceforth shall be referred to as “The BFR”) acts like she doesn't comprehend that this woman wants to sit beside her. So after a couple of hand gestures, The BFR moves her bag from the empty seat. As the train ride continues, The BRF has gone from sitting Indian style to sitting in a position where her feet are behind her and underneath her legs and butt (sort of in a kneeling position, but on an angle…if that makes any sense at all). At this moment the other passenger has to be terrified…I know I would be. Because the train seats are so narrow, THE BFR can't seem to contain her fully exposed feet to her side of the seat. As the train zips around curves, I could tell the feet sans proper covering were getting closer and closer to touching the passenger next to her. You're probably wondering how I could tell. Well, the other woman was oozing out of her seat as the pair of unshielded feet got closer.

I could do nothing but shake my head and bite my bottom lip to stop from laughing hysterically.

Now remember earlier when I mentioned that The BFR acted as if she couldn't comprehend the request of the other lady? Well, how about The BFR had a nerve to ask the rather petrified lady sitting next to her "what time it was". The lady obliged and told her it was "6:42pm". I could have thought of so many different responses to give her, but hey that wasn't me sitting next to her.

At this point in the train ride, the petrified lady reached her stop. After she got off of the train, The BFR acted like she was at home and stretched out even more. I couldn't contain my laughter anymore. I had to look at my phone to play it off as if I was laughing at an incoming message.

Oh wait, I just had a thought. I wonder if she is related to a guy that does the same thing in the morning. There is a male rider that I sometimes see on my way to work that takes his shoes off upon entering the train. His actions differ slightly from The BFR. The male rider usually takes his shoes off and starts to pray or meditate. Either case, no one ever sits next to that guy.

Well, this is my stop. See you next time on the train.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Day 3 – Where’s My Invitation?

This has been a crazy day and I have a serious case of the Mondays. If you’re unfamiliar with that term, it means that you feel like Mondays should be outlawed and going to work on this day should be punishable by life in prison. Usually on the way home, while others are dozing off, I usually stay awake to see all of the craziness that happens on the train. And not to mention, to get new material for me to write about so you can have updates to read. Unfortunately, this was not the case. I was losing an internal battle between my eyes and eyelids. I kept falling asleep at random moments. In my narcoleptic state of a train ride home, I could still hear the various conversations going on around me. One particular conversation made my ears perk up a bit. This lady is sitting across the aisle from me struggling to have a conversation on her cell phone. I am not sure at which point she entered the train, but while gazing over at her, I could tell she was about to blow her lid. She is literally feet away from me and I’m trying to intently listen to her conversation, not to mention trying to break from this paralyzing state of sleep that I’m in. Of course, since she’s on a cell phone, I can only hear one side of the conversation. Here’s what I could gather…

Lady on the phone: Do you know why I didn’t get an invitation?
Lady on the phone: But couldn’t she have sent it out when she sent out the other invitations?
Lady on the phone: You think I should call her and ask why didn’t I get invited?

At this point I’m like “oh yeah, this is going to be good”. I fade into sleep for the next five minutes. As I regain consciousness, I heard her saying “Hello?”, “Hello?” I think her cell phone must have lost its signal and the call was dropped. I should have reached over and told her to get Verizon (shameless plug for the Big Red Machine). As soon she could get service, she is back on another call. This call goes a little bit differently than before. It sounded like she took the advice of the person she was speaking with and decided to inquire as to why she didn’t receive an invitation. This sound like it will be filled with so much drama.

*insert dramatic music here*

Lady on the phone: Hey, how are you?
Lady on the phone: Was there a reason I didn’t get invited?
Lady on the phone: You could have just sent it with the other invites or called me.

You all are probably thinking the story is getting juicy, but it’s time for some disappointment. Do you remember earlier when I said I was in a narcoleptic state? Well, I fell asleep trying to eavesdrop on this lady’s conversation. By the time I woke up, she was gone.

I promise to do better…really…I promise.

Well, this is my stop. See you next time on the train.